Wow where to begin. I am pessimistic by nature and have a very hard time in this area. How many times have we heard a child say 'I can't do that" or "I'm not smart enough". I have, in fact I have told myself those very same things. We usually respond to the children by telling them you can do anything if you try or you are smarter than you think. Why do we tell our children to be more positive and yet we ourselves are not. We tell ourselves all kinds of crazy things. We tell ourselves "no one likes me", "I can't change", and "I'm dumb". We say so many things to ourselves that just are not true. The worst is yet to come though, we start telling ourselves my spouse "doesn't care anymore", my spouse "does not love me", my spouse "is lazy" the list goes on and on. You know I'm telling the truth. Well how do we break free and live happier lives? That is the ten million dollar question isn't it. The truth is that it is a constant battle, start by actually paying more attention to what you are self talking. Most of us have done it so long that the negative is much easier and natural. We have to work hard and change that pattern. This simple change could be the difference between saving ourselves and marriages and destroying them. Chose today to start a better self-talk session with yourself…..
Monday, March 1, 2010
It is very difficult to try and re-connect with a spouse when we are looking through our own lenses or eyes. We say things to ourselves like, he/she hasn't done anything for me why should I be the one to start. Or he/she won't even notice. Well the truth is that they may not have done anything to deserve our change, or they may not notice what you do. So what, if you want things to be different you must take charge. You can make a difference in your life and that of your spouse. The changes may not be immediate but if you look for good you will find it. The rut we get into is that we look for the bad only. Try to find at least one good thing your spouse has done today and build from that.